2007: In case you missed it.

Nobody can deny that foreigners in Korea are a despicable bunch and must be stopped. Thankfully there are new regulations in place that will send most foreigners to the countries that most deserve an influx of barbarians: China and Japan. We can honestly pin most of South Korea's social ills on white people, who spend most of their time touching children, smoking dope, harassing Korean women, eating hamburgers, punching cab drivers, and forging degrees. Some of these godless monstrosities even teach private lessons. Immigration is quite right to "eradicate illegal activities of native English teachers who are causing social problems such as ineligible lectures, taking drugs and sex crimes." I believe immigration is targeting the correct demographic, for improperly documented foreign teachers and their penchant for tutoring and cunnilingus pose an enormous threat to the survival of Korean society. As I've said before, you can never have too many documentaries, exposes, and columns about white people and their cheating ways.

But for the sake of balance I thought I'd share a few news stories of 2007 you might have missed. The headlines were dominated by foreigners behaving badly, so you might not have seen some other interesting developments. The in-demand pitcher of 2001 Chan-ho Park has bravely and selflessly decided to put his MLB career on hold in order to pitch for the national team, for example. With regard to criminal foreigners, to defend our good name against this xenophobic, race-baitng witch hunt add balance I've linked a few stories about the Korean frauds, perverts, and shitty teachers left unchecked, if only to show the negative influence these intruders have had.

Academic fraud

** Shin Jeong-ah - professor pegged as art director for the 2008 Gwangju Bienalle said she earned a Ph.D. from Yale University. The most high-profile story in the forgery scandal, her man on the side was a government official who helped conceal her forgery and funnel money into her projects.
** Venerable Jigwang - notable Buddhist monk who said he had a degree from Seoul National University.
** Lee Ji-young - radio host of KBS's "Good Morning Pops," Gwangyang native and former Suncheon National University student who built her reputation on her impressive overseas education that never took place.
** Lee Pil-sang - President of Korea University plagarized his students' theses.
** Ma Kwang-soo - poet, novelist, and Yonsei University professor plagarized her students' works.
** Ahn Yoo-jin (안유진) - bellydancer, used forged documents to get a part-time gig at Kwangju Women's University in 2006.
** Jeong Deok-hui (정덕희) - professor, author, actor
** Jun Yeong-hun (준영훈) - singer
** Lee Chang-ha - architect and professor who claimed to have a degree from New Bridge University's non-existant school of fine arts.
** Kim Ock-rang - professor and owner of a "performing arts space" who admitted to buying her degree from a California diploma mill.
** Daniel Henney - actor, model. Some online sources erroneously reported that he graduated from the University of Illinois at Chicago. According to his manager, as quoted in the Korea Times, “With the recent issue about academic records, we avoided correcting the problem because we were afraid it would reflect badly.”
** Choi Soo-jung - popular actor, humanitarian, good husband. Some of his official biographies erroneously claimed he graduated from Hankuk University of Foreign Studies and from an American university.
** Jang Mi-hee - singer
** "Fake degree scandal hits sports figures"
** Fake foreign degrees were popular in the military as well.
** "Deception" 2007 Word of the Year

Damn, too bad this is only about 2007. Otherwise I could have included Kim Byong-joon, the former fucking Minister of Education who resigned in 2006 after he admitted he plagarized his students. (HT to The Wanderer)

Teachers behaving badly

** Field trip to China and prostitutes
** Teacher beats students with a bamboo sword, gets a warning (HT to Gusts of Popular Feeling)
** Teacher who molests students gets a suspension and a transfer.
** Teacher leaks standardized test questions to students, parents, and cram schools
** Leaked questions feared to be widespread in Gyeonggi-do
** "Netizens Claim Teachers Helped Students Cheat on SATs."
** 5 Suncheon middle school students killed in bus crash on field trip
** Teacher bakes, beats students.
** "Children to Bear the Brunt if Parents Bribe Teachers." The Korea Federation of Teacher's Associations of course criticized this policy.
** If U R YOUNG & WHITE, U R ALRIGHT @ Bundang Kids Club!!!
** Teacher causes student to pass out over haircut.
** Suncheon teacher humilates high school class for being late.
** "Korean Teachers Wrong on FTA Facts."
** "Gov’t Warns Teachers Union Off Anti-FTA Classes"
** "Entrusting Our Children to Dangerous Lunatics."
** "One in five male high school students have had their hair chopped off by a teacher, a study has found."


Sexual misconduct

** Gwangju middle school girl held captive in motel and raped by 800 men.
** I'm gonna go ahead and say that again. Gwangju middle school girl held captive in motel and raped by 800 men.
** Man molests 11-year-old stepdaughter, found not guilty by reason of liquor.
** Government gives gifts to people who don't fuck whores on New Year's
** Hampyeong county police lieutentant puts cameras in bathrooms.
** Taxi driver rapes and kills two women in Seoul.
** Korea a "danger country" for women.
** Goyang detective kidnaps, rapes, robs women.
** "Chatting with the Beauties" star reveals her professor offered good grades in return for sex.
** "Teenage Sex Crimes Tripled in 8 Years"
** "Alleged South Korean Rape Cult Leader Arrested in China"


Just a reminder to any foreign teachers out there . . . please prepare your academic transcripts and your criminal background checks. Matter of fact I was just reminded again today about having a criminal check, two health exams, and my original degree. We can never be too careful when Korea's children are at stake. If you get too stressed out about these new visa and need to go running for the shelter of your mother's little helper, you'd better know that you're more likely to find drugs on a Korean than on a foreigner.